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About Leeds

Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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And lemme tell ya, nerdy fact: St-Albans started as ancient Verulamium. Crazy old bones here on Market Place and around Clock Tower. Even locals whisper secrets near Clock Tower Lane. I feel so zen there sometimes. See, I’m a relaxation chap, always catchin’ vibes that others miss. Unique little hidden garden on Barton Street blows me away, every single time.

Last year, a town’s primary schools banned smartphones. This is what happened