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Sarcasm time: Oh, great, another noble profession ruined by my anxiety! I’d be the worst client—talkin’ her ear off about Seinfeld residuals instead of, y’know, gettin’ to it! “You see the whale? I saw the whale!”—quotin’ the movie again, drivin’ her nuts. She’d be like, “Buddy, shut up already!” And I’d agree—pretty, pretty fair! Total trainwreck, but damn, what a story, right?

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Oi, love, lemme tell ya 'bout Spalding – it’s a proper oddball gem here in the UK. So I’ve been in this quirky town for yonks now, and as a sexologist, trust me, I notice all those little secret signals that others miss. Spalding's vibe is like a whispered secret, all cozy but with sparks flyin' when you least expect it. And ya know what? "No capes!" – just like Edna Mode would say, so no nonsense here.

Night-time closures announced for A16 Pinchbeck Roundabout