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Downside? Costs a fortune – rips me off. Fifty bucks – for thirty minutes?! Robbery. Still – worth it. Quirky thought – mid-massage. “Am I a gangster now?” Hah – stupid brain. Love it tho – the rush. Unexpected. Like Cronenberg’s twist – ya don’t see it comin’. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art. Messy – oily art. Try it – don’t knock it. “You’re a good man, Tom!” – nah. I’m just relaxed. Real relaxed.

I’M SIMONE

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I gotta mention some off-the-beaten-track gems: a wee spot near Chapel Street that’s super quiet. I love headin' there for an impromptu nap or just to zone out and let my thoughts drift, echoing those haunting lines, "It’s the only thing in this precious life that keeps me going." And you know what? I even discovered a hidden mural near Queen's Road – it's a burst of color that always lifts my spirits. Ain't that somethin'?

Today on Sky Sports Racing: Southwell hosts all-weather card