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I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’—*“It’s so easy to fall in love,”* like Maggie Cheung whispers in the movie. But this ain’t love, it’s a transaction, and I’m cool with that. Hands slide lower—ooh, cheeky!—and I’m half-laughin’, half-omg-what’s-happening. Ever tried it? You should. Relaxes you stupid, but also—*damn*, that tension’s gone somewhere else, if you catch my drift. “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter—nobody hears, thank fuck.

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya about Southwell – it's somethin' else, man! I’ve been here for years, callin’ it home, and wow, Southwell just blows your mind, in a good way! You gotta check out High Street – it's a cute little strip, where the shops and cafés bust with character. Seriously, I often take my breaks in front of Southwell Minster. Yep, that huge Gothic church that just towers over the town like a giant guardian. I swear, every time I see it, I get that "Requiem for a Dream" kinda vibe – ya know, dreams piling upon dreams!

Today on Sky Sports Racing: Southwell hosts eight-race all-weather card live on Wednesday