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So, I tried it once—ONCE! Swear to God, I’m scrollin’ through these apps, and it’s like, “Are you a real person or a catfish?” Ha! Catfish—get it? Ichthyologist humor! But seriously, half these profiles—fake as hell. Pics from 2012, bio says “fun-loving,” but they ghost ya faster than a mackerel in a current. I’m sittin’ there, yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign you’re alive!” Nothin’. Infuriating! Made me wanna chuck my phone into the sea.

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Now, picture this: me, a dating app developer livin’ here – right smack dab in Southam’s quirky mix. Stroll down High Street - it's a riot of quaint shops that make you go “Whoa!” each corner, each brick. There's a little coffee joint on Baker’s Row (yeah, that’s one of my faves, trust me) - the place smells like dreams and fresh brews, kinda like the aroma of a perfect ratatouille simmerin’ away on a Sunday mornin’.

Lib Dems win Stratford-on-Avon while Labour gain three seats