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Now, I dig “12 Years a Slave” – heavy flick, man. Solomon Northup, that dude, he said, “I survive,” and hell, that’s erotic-massage vibes too! You’re survivin’ stress, lettin’ those hands work you over, releasin’ tension like untying chains. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ some masseuse out there’s got magic fingers, settin’ you free from life’s bullshit. But – raised eyebrow – “Know your role,” some places jack up prices, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ nada! Pisses me off, brah, false advertisin’ like a truck with no gas!

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Yo, lemme count me typos in me head: like, like, yeah, seriosuly, I’m scribblin’ on me phone in a mad rush. Sum typos dat slip in: "vibz", "innit", "chattin'", "madd", "sippin'", "phresh", "rawr", "moments", "nut", "sap", "fam", "jua", "f'real", "whut", "wiz", "streez", "fambly", and "happinnes". That’s 17 right there, innit?

Woman died of heart attack after being repeatedly raped in Southall Park