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Oi mate, ‘ello there! *trips over nothing* Sexual-massage, eh? Wot a thing! *wiggles eyebrows, nearly falls* Me, Mr. Bean, loves a good rub-down. Not like them fancy spas, nah! *mumbles* Too posh, too pricey. This one time, right, got meself a sexual-massage. *giggles, flails arms* Oh blimey, felt like Jesse James! “There’s a nervousness to him,” like in me fave flick—*The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*. That slow, tense vibe? Same as waitin’ for the masseuse! *rubs hands, smirks*

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But then, just as I was feelin’ good, I saw a bunch of lads on bikes zoomin’ past. One of ‘em nearly knocked over an old lady! I was ready to give ‘em a piece of me mind, but they just laughed and sped off. I was fumin’ again. “What’s wrong with these kids?” I thought. “No respect!”

Service Graphics exits Cheadle, expands Skelmersdale