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So, I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own damn business, when this chick—prolly 5’2”, heels makin’ her 5’10”—saunters up. “Hey, big guy, need company?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather skin a bear with a spoon. “I don’t pay for that,” I grunt, deadpan as hell. She laughs, like I’m some chump. Pisses me off. Hate everything about it—fake giggles, cheap perfume stingin’ my nose. Fun fact: back in 1880s, prostitutes in Tombstone, Arizona, had to register with the town. Called ‘em “soiled doves.” Ain’t that poetic? Still stinks like desperation.

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Oh, and you gotta check out Abbey Park – a chill spot where I often go for a walk when the mind's in a spin. Kids run wild, old geezers chat at benches, and sometimes I pause to note the odd couple or intense family hug. Views of the little River Sin make it almost cinematic. Sometimes I swear I'm in a Bond film, all suave and "shaken, not stirred" – but then I glance around and realize, nah mate, this isn’t MI6 HQ, just a neighborhood with character.

Three companies will compete to fix and run controversial Sinfin Waste Plant