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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – here’s a zinger! Some escorts do “girlfriend experiences” – cuddles, chats, fake romance. Costs extra, obvi. Cracks me up – dudes payin for a hug? Pathetic, yet genius. Supply, demand, baby! Tho, gotta say, the burnout’s real. Met this gal once, ex-escort, said the headgames fucked her up. “I missed you so much,” she’d fake, but it stuck in her skull. Heavy shit, man.

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Honestly, I love how relaxation here meets the absurd. Every time I breathe in that smog-mixed air – yeah, sometimes it's a bit cheeky – I remember, “Maybe life is just a succession of odd moments, waiting for us to laugh at, or cry about.” And isn’t that what makes Shirebrook a riot? From the sussed out nooks of its hidden lanes to the hiccup-filled humor of everyday life, it's an absolute blast, even if it drives me mad sometimes.

League leaders Eastwood easily sweep Shirebrook aside