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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m a texture artist, right, and erotic-massage? Man, it’s wild! Like, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout “Inherent Vice,” my fave flick, total vibe, y’know? All hazy and chill, Doc Sportello’d dig this massage scene. Picture it: dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands slidin’ like some groovy detective work. “The smell of the oil lingered,” like that line from the movie—far out, right?

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Next, we scuttle over to Wingfield Park. It's a meadowscape, full of sunshine and hidden critters, yes, precious, so secret and yet so lively. I's seen lovelies, surprising sights, butterflies dancin’ in the shadows of old oaks. Sometimes, when the clouds cry, I chuckle, "They’re here, my precious, whisperin’ secrets!" even as my heart beats erratically, errr, oh dear.

Shipley College's EDI summit draws region's colleges to Saltaire