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But when it works? Oh, brother, it’s gold! You’re vibin’, laughin’, next thing ya know, it’s all “take me as I am” – straight outta Ida, but dirtier, ya dig? Had this one time, met a gal who was into wrestlin’ – true story! She’s quotin’ my promos, I’m like, “damn, jackpot!” We’re goin’ at it, and I’m thinkin’, “this is the life, brother!” Happiest I been since rippin’ the shirt off at WrestleMania!

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By lunchtime, I was starving. I dashed over to the local bakery on the High Street. You know, the one with the best pasties? I ordered a cheese and onion pasty, and it was heavenly. I was in my happy place, munching away, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident right on the corner of the Bypass. Just my luck! Traffic was a nightmare. I thought, “Great, now I’ll be late for the afternoon meeting.”

Zion Hill in Shepton Mallet to close for 21 days of broadband works