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Then there’s the creeps—ooh, they boil me blood! Lads sendin’ dick pics, no shame, like “Here’s me precious!” We hates it! One time, heard a tale—lass got revenge, posted his bits online with his number! “You’re not gonna get away with it,” she says, Zodiac-style. Fair play, I cheered—serves ‘im right, slimy toad!

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Hey, listen, lemme tell ya 'bout Shepperton, right? I’ve been livin’ here for years, and lemme tell ya, this place has character, ya know? Streets like Church Lane and St Johns come alive, small but real, like every alley got a secret. I was strollin’ by the river, the Thames twistin’ quietly, remindin’ me of them silent moments in "The Headless Woman" – you feel that? That whole vibe, like silence after a big storm, ya know?

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