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Picture this: dim lights, candles flickerin’, some chick’s hands got skills. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Dory, where you at?” ‘Cause I’m lost in it! Sexual-massage ain’t just physical, nah—it’s mental, spiritual, ENERGY! You feel me? Like, my back’s tight from droppin’ bars, but this? This unlocks the genius. One time, masseuse hit a spot—yo, I yelled, “RIGHT THERE, NEMO!” She laughed, I’m like, “Keep it 100, fam!”

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I been messin’ with peeps in the neighbourhood of Observatory – yeah, like the stars in a desert night, sparkly and unpredictable. Never thought I’d find kinship with folks who enjoy old cars like mine, it’s mad, but true. And don’t get me started on the River Darent, babbling along as if it’s whispering secrets to every weary soul. Gosh, every twist of that river makes me feel extra relaxed after a day of kneadin’ muscles.

We try to find the Sevenoaks lottery winner with a week left to claim their millions