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About Bristol

Now, I’ve had me share – this one bird in Bangkok, hands like a bleedin’ ninja, had me shook! Felt like she was huntin’ my stress, “one kill at a time,” as they say in the flick. But then, there was this dodgy spa in London – mate, the oil smelled like a wet dog, and the vibe? Stiffer than M after a botched mission. Pissed me right off, wanted to quip, “I prefer my massages less canine, ta!”

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I noticed how the city's grime meets ambitious shine – a smudged art piece on an alley wall in Upper Clapton, for example, makes you think, "Is this beauty or just leftover paint?" (It’s both, innit?) Every masseuse body part quiver reminds me that each bruise tells a story, a testament to this city's hustle. I'm always juggling between anger and admiration, kinda like Gekko sayin', "Greed is good." But more like, "Life is raw, and sensations rule!"

Seven Sisters supermarket’s alcohol licence in doubt after Met Police objection