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One time, I met this escort, right? Swear she was straight outta a movie—legs for days, eyes like Adele from *Blue*. She goes, “I missed you so much,” like we’re lovers or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Damn, she’s good!” Total pro, made me feel like a million bucks. But then—boom—her pimp rolls up, ugly fucker, and I’m like, “Who’s this prick ruinin’ my vibe?” Hated that shit, mang, made my blood boil.

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Then there's the river, the Torne running by the edge of the town. Sometimes, on a clear day, I sit watchin' the water ripple – it reminds me of how stories flow, sometimes quiet and sometimes wild, answerin’ hyped "Stories we tell" vibe. Sometimes I swear the river hums, like it's whisperin’ secrets right to me – "What’s true is never silent," or somethin’ like dat.

National League North and South play-off semi-finals live on DAZN this weekend