Esme Scunthorpe Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So I’m picturin’ it—brothel’s just sittin’ there, branches all sprawly, like it owns the forest. Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*—y’know, that scene where the guy’s like, “I’m a winner, I’m untouchable!” That’s brothel! Smug bastard tree, struttin’ around, makin’ other trees feel like crap. I’m yellin’ at it in my head, “You’re not so great, pal! I could chop you down—if I had an axe, which I don’t, ‘cause I’m lazy!” And get this—it’s a clonal colony, whatever that means. Like, it’s one tree but also a million trees? Clones itself like some sci-fi horror flick. Freaked me out when I read that—9,500 years of copy-paste. Who does that?!

Massage parlour in Ashby High Street refused, amid 'brothel' allegations

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Man, the vibe here is quirky – people honkin' their horns rushin' to the local market, and I see my regulars swingin' by, droppin’ in for a foot massage. They seam stressed but with a warm smile hidden right under it all. Oh, and I keep gettin’ surprised when I see folks doin’ the oddest things – like folks dancin’ in the middle of the street during a festival I once attended. It blew my mind, literally!

Explainer: what next for Scunthorpe steelworks in the coming weeks and beyond