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What gets me tho—clients think they’re special. “She really likes me,” they whine. Nope. It’s a job, moron. “There’s no name for what I am,” Scarlett’s alien says—escorts probly feel that too. Not human to some, just a service. Kinda sad, huh? But they’re laughin to the bank, so who cares?

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So, um, I spend a lot of time bangin’ on local spots, relaxin’ in places that only a relaxation specialist like meself can truly appreciate. There's this park, eh, called Chapel Gardens – it's a gem tucked away behind the library on Maple Street. I often kick back there, watchin' folks do their thing, and lettin’ my mind wander like our dear ol’ movie says, “We're gonna make memories.” And let me tell ya, some days I get so caught up in those sunsets over the River Dune. Yeah, you heard me right, the Dune – such a quirky name, huh?

Sandown tips: Weekend Winners team pick their winners for the British National Hunt finale