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Alright, alright, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my guitar, thinkin’ about this whole sex-dating thing—y’know, the apps, the swipin’, the “hey baby, let’s bone” vibe. Pretty, pretty good, right? WRONG! It’s a freakin’ mess, I tell ya! Like, half the time I’m scrollin’ Tinder, I’m wonderin’ if these people even shower. “I’m a laid-back guy”—yeah, laid-back in filth, pal! And the girls? “Lookin’ for somethin’ casual”—sure, casual like a Viggo Mortensen beatdown in *A History of Violence*. You seen that flick? Guy’s livin’ all quiet, then BOOM—sex on the stairs, blood everywhere! That’s sex-dating, man—calm one sec, chaos the next!

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Now, the town centre’s a riot. You've got a mix between modern shops and old-world charm on places like The Parade and Chapel Street. The cafes spill onto pavements like confetti at a wedding. I remember once, in a bout of creative genius (or madness, idk), i sketched a dating site splash screen inspired by the vibe around Church Street – kinda moody, kinda magical, like a scene outta Boonmee’s surreal flashbacks.

The Sandhurst teams making numerical disadvantage count