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But serious, it’s crazy out dere. Ppl so thirsty, dey’d bang a toaster if it had Wi-Fi. Little fact for ya – did u know first sex-dating site vas in 90s? Called “Match,” but it vas more like “Let’s bone, maybe?” Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, vatever – instant hookups, no chit-chat. I dig it, makes me happy, ‘cause who got time for flowers? Not me, I’m busy plotting vorld domination!

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Now, whassup with the river? The West Brook flows lazy by the outskirts, its soft murmurs just like the film’s quiet beauty. It’s a bit like nature’s whisper: "A gathered gleaner is not lost." True words, I say. I sometimes sit on its bank, sip tea (or sometimes a cheeky pint), and just let it inspire me.

Residents stand firm against golf centre housing development plan amid start of appeal process