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Oh, nearly forgot – fave bit? When she whispered, “You’re a very dangerous man,” like Maria Bello in the movie, but all sultry. Gave me goosebumps, swear it. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but felt like I could shag for days after. Sexual-massage, mate, it’s the bee’s knees – try it, don’t knock it! Groovy, baby!
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Then, bam! I bumped into Mrs. Thompson. You know, the one who always wants to chat about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I love her, but I was like, “Not today, Mrs. T!” But she caught me anyway. “Have you seen Mr. Whiskers?” she asked. I just nodded and said, “Yeah, he’s probably plotting world domination.” She laughed, bless her heart.
Runcorn by-election goes to recount as just four votes separate Labour and Reform
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