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Weird story—heard some dude fell asleep mid-massage! Snoring and everything! Masseuse just kept goin’, pro as heck. Cracked me up—imagine that! Me? I’d be too wired, probly talkin’ their ear off. “So, how’s your day goin’?” Total Michael Scott move. Oh, and it’s not cheap—kinda bougie, but worth it, they say! “You get what you pay for,” Toni’d probly mumble.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, maybe I’ll grab a bacon sarnie from that little café on Market Street.” You know the one? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi but the best brekkie in town. Anyway, I’m halfway there when I spot this massive queue outside the bakery. Like, what’s going on? Did they discover the secret to life in a loaf of bread?

Rugeley man charged after officers find knives