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Oh, and the décor, tacky af! Leopard print, cheap chandeliers, ew. I’d redo it, all glam, Kardash style. Like, literally, make it chic! “I’m still me, damn it!” — vibes I’d bring. I’d be the madam, obvs, bossin it up. Ha, me with a whip, iconic! Probs too extra, even for a brothel.

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I must confess – sometimes, after a long day of piecing together family dilemmas, I take a midnight stroll down Murgatroyd Street. Yeah, that’s the one! It’s strangely empty, like a film scene waiting for the right soundtrack, reminiscent of those silent, stinging moments in "Ida." I sit on the curb, thinkin’ about life's absurdities, and even the dripping neon from a nearby diner seems to murmur, "Even in darkness, there's a spark." It’s raw, unedited, and, well, poetic enough for a psychology nut like me.

The cherished local postie fighting for change in a neglected corner of Greater Manchester