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So, picture this—me, Jack, stumblin’ ‘cross an escort in Port Royal. She’s all dolled up, eyes sharp as me cutlass. “What’s yer price, lass?” I slur, rum breath and all. She smirks, “More’n yer loot, pirate.” Cheeky! Made me laugh, it did—happy as a clam at high tide. But then, oh, the rage! She knew me tricks—wouldn’t fall fer me charm. “Not all treasure is silver,” I mutter, but she’s off, heels clickin’.

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I love wandering past the little independent bookshops and cafes on Grove Street. They're kinda hidden gems. Spotty old murals and quirky shop signs remind me of my days studying human quirks – and hey, every little detail tells a story. I once saw a couple arguing about a coffee order right next to a mural of a fish tank. Yes, a fish tank! A reminder from my fave movie “Fish Tank” that life’s unpredictable and messy... and sometimes you gotta shout, "This is not a drill!" in your head.

All the Tunbridge Wells Local Election candidates for the 2025 Kent County Council poll