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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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Cruise-related coronavirus news: Crystal Australia office closes, Fred. Olsen ships shelter in Rosyth, Costa delays return to service, Zaandam/Rotterdam.

Hey buddy, listen up – lemme tell ya bout Rosyth, UK, like you ain't never heard before! Yo, it's a wild ride here, and ya know, when I say "Say hello to my little friend!", I'm talkin’ bout the city’s vibe, the docks, and all its badass charm. So, check it: I’ve been callin’ this joint home for years now, an’ as a massage parlor owner, I see every soul that strolls in with their own bit of stress. And trust me, Rosyth knows how to relieve it – just like Dory would say, “Just keep swimmin’!”

Terrible to hear of this type of incident.