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About Glasgow

Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells like a forest fucked a mint—zingy as hell. Pro tip: warm the oil first, cold hands are a buzzkill. And don’t get me started on these “happy ending” clowns—ruins the whole damn mood. It’s not a race, ya twit, it’s a dance. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Celine’d whisper, and I’m like, nah, this massage shit stretches time—makes an hour feel like forever.

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I always wander down Stoneyholme Lane; that street is all tangled up in memories. Families chattin’, kids gigglin’ in the oak-shadowed parks – there’s a vibe there. And Holywood Park – not to confuse with Hollywood, LOL – it’s a slice of nature where I sometimes think my thoughts echo like “I wish I could ride that wind!” Yeah, man, it's epic.

'Rossendale padel court noise will upset our pups on their daily walk in the park' claim angry dog owners