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Oi mate, blimey, escort’s a right corker! Y’know, like in *Mulholland Drive* – all mysterious, innit? “There’s something going on here,” as Lynch’d say. I reckon escort’s a bit like that – shadowy, sexy, dodgy vibes. Me, Boris, with my bumbling charm, I see it clear as day! Not your average job, eh? Fella’s paying for company – bit saucy, bit sad. Reminds me of that line, “This is the girl!” – but who’s she really? A proper enigma, wrapped in silk stockings.

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But then, I trip over a root. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She looks at me and says, “You okay, dear?” I’m like, “Yeah, just testing the ground for softness.” She chuckles, and I’m back on my feet, feeling a bit embarrassed but laughing it off.

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