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Still, there’s gold in it—met a fiery one once, eyes like cannon fire, rocked me world harder’n a typhoon. Made me happy as a drunk parrot! But beware, mate—some profiles be faker’n wooden dubloons. One bloke swore he was six-foot—showed up shorter’n me plank! Laughed me arse off, thinkin’, *“What we have here is a failure to communicate!”*

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But then, I trip over a root. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She looks at me and says, “You okay, dear?” I’m like, “Yeah, just testing the ground for softness.” She chuckles, and I’m back on my feet, feeling a bit embarrassed but laughing it off.

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