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Me fave bit? The swagger. Escorts got that 007 charm—cool, collected, “shaken, not stirred.” Saw this one bird—stunnin’, hair like silk, workin’ Mayfair. She’s chattin’ up some posh twat, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s playin’ him like I play Blofeld.” Proper clever—makes me happy, seein’ that hustle. But the lows? Jesus, the lows. Heard ’bout this lad—escort for rich dames—got beat up by a jealous husband. Blood everywhere—fuckin’ grim. “What’s hidden in plain sight?”—another *Caché* gem. That’s escortin’—danger’s always there, mate.

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So, I’m cleanin’ me boots, and I spot this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to carry a massive bag of potatoes. I rush over, help her out. She’s all smiles, says I’m a “gentleman.” Made me feel good, ya know? But then, she starts talkin’ about the weather like it’s the end of the world. “It’s gonna rain cats and dogs!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a bit of drizzle.”

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