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About Newcastle

They’re tough, tho, tougher than us aliens. Standin’ in rain, heels killin’ ‘em, smilin’ at creeps. Respect, yo. Still, it’s grim—some get beat, some vanish. Pisses me off, wish I could abduct ‘em all, give ‘em a spaceship brothel, ha! “What’s your life been like?” Ida’d ask ‘em, and they’d laugh, prob’ly. Life’s a mess, but they hustle. Funniest thing? This one chick yelled at a john, “Pay up, or I’ll haunt ya!” Laughed my bolts off—sassy as hell.

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But then, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some kid’s lost his pet rabbit. I’m thinking, “A rabbit? In Redruth? What’s next, a llama?” But the kid’s crying, and my heart sinks. So, I join the search party.

Cornwall's Voice: Perran Moon, Labour MP for Camborne and Redruth