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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—see, I dig how escort’s got layers, man. Ain’t just sex—sometimes it’s lonely saps needin’ a fake date to a weddin’. Ever hear bout that guy who hired an escort to piss off his ex? Showed up to her party with this stunner—*“Anger’s like, take that, ya jerk!”*—and the ex flipped! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it. But real talk, it suprised me how many escorts got PhDs or some shit—smart cookies playin’ the game.

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I gotta mention River Aln too – though not grand like the Thames, it winds through the outskirts. I sometimes escape there for quiet meditations; the gurgling water’s like a balm for a restless mind. And oh boy, the local pubs – such as the Red Lion, maddeningly small yet bursting with character. Folks there are a wild mix of old souls and new dreamers.

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