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So yeah, escort’s a mixed bag – creepy, tasty, annoyin’ as hell. Reckon they’re like Robert Ford, y’know? Sneaky, quiet, but leave a mark. “Every man’s got his burden,” and mine’s haulin’ these glowy sods outta the sea. Tell ye what, tho – next time ye see one, chuck it in the pan and laugh at its glowy arse! Fisherman’s life, eh?

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I wandered through these alleys, sometimes miss-typing my road signs in my head: “Whaaat's goin' on, bruv?!” My mind jumps like crazy. I might break mid-sentence, then laugh and shout "Lightbulb!" like it’s a bad day in a desert storm.

Air ambulance lands in south Essex park as busy road CLOSED after crash