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Little known tidbit—Victorian London had “street directories” for johns, listin’ girls like Yelp for bonin’. How’s that for classy? I’m imaginin’ me, Tina, flippin’ through, pickin’ a dame while sippin’ tea. “This one’s got five stars—sold!” Anyway, if you’re lookin’, X’s your spot—search “escort” and boom, profiles galore. Just don’t click the shady links, ‘kay? Learned that the hard way—computer’s still screamin’.

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My spa is tucked in a little side street, near the river—it’s called the River Ise. Yeah, don’t ask me why it’s Ise, but it winds its way past the old mill on Watermead Lane. That mill... oh man, it’s a sight—it makes ya think, like, "Where did all this time go?" Like in the movie, you know? Those slow, floaty moments that catch you off guard. It kinda reminds me, "The mind is free and wild, like water." Ain’t that somethin'?

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