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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Man, these tiny local landmarks – oh boy! What about that old mill at the bank of the River Calder? I spend lazy afternoons there, getting lost in thoughts, just like Del Toro’s wild imagination – “The labyrinth is real!” You feel that mystic connection, like each brick tells its own tale. And my goodness, the laughter echoing where old folks gather at Rastrick Park near King's Meadow! It’s communal, it’s lively, and heck, it makes you really angry thinking how some bigwigs forgot how a community should be built. Billionaires should not exist! I mean, man, look at that park – pure joy and space for all.

Two bodies found in Brighouse flat in 'unexplained' circumstances