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Still, shit gets messy. Ghostin’? Drives me nuts! You’re chattin’, vibin’, then – poof – gone. Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” to every flaker out there. And don’t get me started on the weirdos – one dude sent me a dick pic, unasked! Bro, I’m Apollo fuckin’ Creed, keep that shit away! Laughed my ass off tho – sex-dating’s a circus, swear.

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So, I dash out the door, and it’s raining. Of course, it’s raining. Typical Randalstown weather. I’m soaked in like two seconds. I’m thinking, “Great start, mate.” I hop on my bike, which is a rusty old thing, but it gets me around. I pedal down the Main Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some sort of twisted video game.

Death Notice Susan KERR