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I get all fired up talkin this – makes me wanna scream, “Directive!” like them robots, pointin at the mess. Ain’t judgin the girls, nah, but the pimps? Slimeballs! I’d rather hug a cactus than shake their hands. Still, it’s a hustle, and I respect the grind – just wish it wasn’t so damn sad sometimes. “WALL-E” taught me – even trash deserves a lil love, y’know? So next time you’re out, lookin for a quick “transaction,” ask yourself, partner – how’s that workin for ya? Prolly not as good as you think!

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Oh, the locals! They roam around Cherryfield Lane, droppin' by the run-down café on the corner. It ain't posh, but it's home. I like to think my massage skills ease their aches after long days strollin' along the quays near Queensferry High. I mean, each nook haff its vibe, ya feel me?

South Queensferry dip in memory of Cold Dip Commando, Tim Crossin