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I tried it, ok? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—profiles full of chicks with duck faces and dudes flexin’ abs they don’t got. Made me angry, mang, all these fakes! Like, why you lyin bout your height, ese? I’m 5’7” and proud—don’t need no heels to get laid. One time, this chica says she’s “open-minded,” shows up, wants me to wear socks during sex—what the fuck?! Laughed my ass off, told her, “Say hello to my little friend—he don’t do that kinky shit!”

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Right, so Queensbury ain’t huge, but it's got that quirky charm that sneaks up on ya. There’s Main Street—err, well, actually it’s called Queen’s Crescent—where the dodgy little tea rooms and fancy boutiques natter on about the old days—and then there's Westford Lane, where the real locals hang about, havin’ a natter on doorsteps, real proper banterin’, like “hey, how’s it goin’?” every blasted mornin’.

Queensberry and DAZN announce huge opening schedule that includes major heavyweight show and former undisputed world champion