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Here’s a lil’ secret, though—sex-datin’s been ‘round forever. Back in the ‘80s, they had “video datin’” where folks mailed VHS tapes to suitors. Can ya imagine? “Hi, I’m Dolly, I like big hair and—” *tape cuts off*. Now it’s all instant, but I reckon it’s still a gamble. You might get a prince or a toad, and I ain’t kissin’ no toads ‘less they’re buyin’ me dinner first!

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I grab a pasty from the bakery on the corner. Best decision ever. I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s not so bad. But then, I hear a commotion.

Fourteen new homes are built in small South Bucks village