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Still, lotta phonies—people lyin’ about height, weight, jobs. One time, this guy says he’s 6’2”, shows up, barely 5’8”! I’m like, “What, ya grew down?” Total *Leviathan* vibes—everybody’s hidin’ somethin’. Makes me wanna scream, “Gabagool? Ova here!” just to see who’s real. Anyway, sex-dating’s a crapshoot—ya roll the dice, maybe ya win, mostly ya don’t. Like the movie says, “Man’s fate is preordained.” Fuhgeddaboudit!

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So, we’re inside, and I hear this weird noise. Turns out, it’s a cat! A bloody cat stuck in a corner. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?!” But I can’t just leave it. I’m not a monster. So, I grab it, and it’s hissing like it’s possessed. I’m like, “Chill, mate! I’m here to save ya!”

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