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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

McCoy's Guide

Erotic Massage Near Preston, Lancashire · 1. Preston's Vip · 2. The Naked Masseuse · 3. Natalie's Sauna · 4. Frenchies Massage · 5. City Sauna · 6. Leeds.

Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starvin’. I head over to the market on Friargate. Best place for a sarnie, I swear. I grab a bacon butty, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sittin’ there, just enjoyin’ life, when I see this old fella tryin’ to cross the street. He’s takin’ his sweet time, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, I’ve got a bacon butty to finish!”

Opinion: Preston North End can’t stand still after relegation scare