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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I tried it—Madea don’t spill tea like that—but if I did, I’d be hollerin’, “Halleluyer, that’s the spot!” It’s all ‘bout trust, chile! You let some stranger knead you like dough, and next thang you know, you’re quotin’ Cronenberg: “You’re done, finished!” ‘Cause honey, when it’s good, you’re DONE—legs shakin’, soul happy! I heard some dude in Japan invented a “tantric touch” style—takes HOURS! Who got time for that? Not Madea, I’d be snorin’ by minute ten!

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But then, he trips. My heart drops. I jump up, run over, and help him up. He’s all grateful and stuff, and I’m like, “No worries, mate. Just don’t go breakin’ any bones on my watch!” We have a laugh, and it’s a nice moment. Makes ya realize, life’s not all about machines and work, right?

Emil Riis Reflects On Final Day