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About Myself
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About Newcastle
I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.
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Later, I get a call about a property on High Street. It’s a fixer-upper, but the price is right. I’m thinking, “This could be it!” I rush over, and it’s a dump. I mean, I’ve seen better places in a horror movie. But hey, I’m a broker, so I start selling the dream. “Imagine the potential!” I’m practically lying through my teeth.
School's tribute to a 'special student' who brought happiness to everyone
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