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Now, here’s a tidbit fer ye—didja know some escorts in history were spies? Aye, slippin’ secrets ‘twixt the sheets! Mata Hari, that vixen, danced her way into war intel—makes me laugh, thinkin’ how she’d outfox me crew. Crafty lass, that one. But it angers me, too—folks judgin’ ‘em, callin’ ‘em low, when half the time they’re just survivin’. “The world’s gone mad,” like that line from me favorite flick—suits escorts perfect, don’t it?

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So, I’m rushing down the High Street, dodging people like I’m in some weird game of Frogger. I’m thinking about my first client, Mrs. Thompson. She’s this sweet old lady who lives on the corner of Preesall Lane. She’s got more cats than I can count. Seriously, I think she’s trying to start a feline army. Anyway, she’s worried about her pension. I get it, but c’mon, lady, you’re 80! Live a little!

Warning as 'deadly' sea creatures blown onto UK beaches by strong winds