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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!

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But then, outta nowhere, her cat, Mr. Whiskers, jumps on the table and knocks over my laptop. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like a scene from a bad movie. I’m trying to save my laptop while she’s laughing. I mean, come on! I’m here to help you, not to be a cat toy!

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