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About Sheffield

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

More from ABC

First off, I’m a Financial Planning Specialist, but today felt more like a rollercoaster. I grab my coffee from that little café on Park Lane. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always tries to chat about the weather. Like, dude, it’s always rainy here! Anyway, I’m half asleep, and I spill my coffee all over my notes. Great start, right?

Inside derelict Blackpool hotel where urban explorers found hoard of hand sanitizer and abandoned mannequins