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So, escort’s my jam—happy vibes all day! Met this one chick, total babe, right? She rolls up, fancy car, all mysterious. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s what she said!”—cringey, I know, but I’m pumped! She’s got stories, man—said she once drove some dude cross-country, just ‘cause he tipped big. Little known fact: some escorts got secret codes! Like, they wink twice for “extra fun”—nuts, right? Blew my mind, I was grinning like an idiot.

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But then, I spot a squirrel. And not just any squirrel. This little guy is bold as brass. He runs right up to us, and I’m thinking, “Is this squirrel gonna mug me?” I’m trying to be all cool, but inside, I’m cracking up. I tell the group, “This is the Potters Bar squirrel. He’s the real tour guide here!” They’re loving it, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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