Ella Portswood Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Sheffield

Alright, listen up. Sexual-massage. I hate everything. Some oily hands rubbin’ ya down—sounds like a damn trap. Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” But ain’t nobody laughin’ when you’re slippery as a fish. Paid a gal once—tiny shop, shady neon sign buzzin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, I’m thinkin’, “This is bullshit.” Tension’s supposed to melt, right? Nope. Felt like a wrestling match—her vs. my knotted-up back. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks did this crap too. Called it “massage with benefits.” Horny bastards.

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After that, I headed to the pub on the corner of Portswood and Cemetery Road. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy karaoke nights? I thought, “Why not?” I ordered a pint, and the vibe was chill. But then, this guy starts singing “Wonderwall” like he’s the next big thing. I mean, come on! It was so bad, I had to cover my ears. But everyone was loving it! I was like, “What’s wrong with you people?”

Portswood bus gate plans inch forward