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So, sex escort—high-end hookers, right? Not yer streetcorner “$20 special” types. These pros got websites, reviews, freakin’ *portfolios*. Saw one chick’s profile on X—dunno, some escort named VixenLola—pics all glam, bio sayin’ “discreet companion.” Discreet my ass, everybody lies! Bet she’s tellin’ clients she’s a med student. Fun fact: back in the ‘90s, cops busted this escort ring in Vegas—girls were usin’ pagers like spies. Pagers! How retro is that? Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em beepin’ codes for “blowjob, $200.”
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First off, I decided to grab a coffee at this little spot called The Coffee Cup. Best brews in Portsmouth, no cap. I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and this seagull swoops down like it’s on a mission. I swear, it nearly took my croissant! Like, chill out, bird! I’m not your breakfast buffet!
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