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Alright, biochem geek mode on—let’s talk escort! Not the shady street kind, nah, I mean ESCORT, that funky protein system in bacteria. Yeah, I’m Dr. House, biochemist edition, and everybody lies—even these damn microbes. So, ESCORT’s this wild little export crew, shovin’ proteins outta the cell like a bouncer at a club. Think “Margaret”—you know, my fave flick—where Lisa’s screamin’ “You don’t see what’s happening!” Same deal here, bacteria don’t see shit, just pushin’ proteins out blind.

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I toss the ball back, and they cheer. I’m feeling like a hero for a sec, until one of the kids runs over and asks if I can help them build a castle. I’m like, “Me? Build a sandcastle? I’m a clergyman, not a sand architect!” But I can’t say no to those little faces. So, I end up on my knees, building this epic sandcastle. It’s got towers, a moat, the works. I’m sweating like a sinner in church, but it’s worth it.

The Open: Behind the scenes of Portrush preparations as town issues statement to holidaymakers