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I reckon sex-dating’s a strategery all its own. You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—heck, even weirdos on Craigslist back in the day! Little known fact: folks been hookin’ up online since the ‘90s—dial-up modems screamin’ while they’re schemin’ for a quickie! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy seein’ tech bringin’ folks together, but mad as hell when creeps catfish ya. Happened to my buddy—thought he’s meetin’ a hottie, ends up with some dude named Carl. I’m like, “Man, that’s a mis-underestimation of the enemy!”

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After that, I stroll down to the beach. Portrush’s beaches are stunning, man. White sand, blue water, the whole shebang. I plop down on the sand, ready to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start a sandcastle competition. They’re yelling and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like a scene from a movie. But then, one kid kicks a ball, and it lands right next to me. I’m like, “Great, now I’m part of the competition.”

This year’s Open at Royal Portrush will host 278,000 golf fans