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Hey, folks, it’s me—Joe, your ol’ lumberjack prez! Lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, alright? Grew up in Scranton, saw some wild stuff—massage parlors, back rooms, y’know? Here’s the deal… sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, no sir! It’s this whole sensual vibe—gets ya tingly, like when I first saw “Toni Erdmann.” That flick—man, it’s weird, hilarious, got me thinkin’. Like, “What does your soul look like naked?”—straight outta the movie, hits ya deep!

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to shake off the grumpiness. I stroll past Portlethen Park. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s a mud pit. I see a couple of doggos having a blast. One of them, a golden retriever, runs up to me, tail wagging like crazy. I’m like, “Dude, you’re my new best friend.” We play for a bit, and I forget about the rain. Dogs really know how to lift your spirits.

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